Nothings Wrong: A Mans Guide to Managing His Feelings
Maybe you feel angry regularly. Maybe you snap or want to snap at everyone around you — because your anger feels like a tsunami. There may be many different causes. One explanation is that you have weak boundaries. You say yes when you really want to say no. But you might not make the connection, said Julie de Azevedo Hanks, Ph. Maybe you expected your spouse to help out more around the house. Years ago, Farris worked with a young woman who realized that focusing on what others did triggered her frustration. Sometimes, you might not feel angry at all.
Rather, your actions might be passive-aggressive, and you might feel resentful. For instance, Hanks worked with Cindy not her real name , a woman in her 30s who seemed cheerful and positive—and exhausted. Cindy was an excellent caretaker and had great empathy for everyone but herself.
She has two kids with disabilities. Her husband rarely helped. So you lash out at them for being so insensitive and callous toward you. Sure, you never asked, but they should just know to make you feel better. They should have gotten off the phone and ditched their plans based on your lousy emotional state. When you set a precedent that your partner is responsible for how you feel at all times and vice-versa , you will develop codependent tendencies.
All activities at home—even the mundane ones like reading books or watching TV—must be negotiated and compromised. When someone begins to get upset, all personal desires go out the window because it is now your responsibility to make one another feel better. The biggest problem of developing these codependent tendencies is that they breed resentment.
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What you should do instead: Take responsibility for your own emotions and expect your partner to be responsible for theirs. Any sacrifices should be made as an autonomous choice and not seen as an expectation.
- What is Emptiness?.
- One Dog Night.
- 2. Dropping “hints” and other passive-aggression.
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What it is: Getting pissed off when your partner talks, touches, calls, texts, hangs out, or sneezes in the general vicinity of another person and then you proceed to take that anger out on your partner and attempt to control their behavior. This is absolutely clownshit crazy to me. It creates unnecessary drama and fighting. It transmits a message of a lack of trust in the other person. What you should do instead: Trust your partner. Some jealousy is natural. But excessive jealousy and controlling behaviors towards your partner are signs of your own feelings of unworthiness and you should learn to deal with them and not force them onto those close to you.
Because otherwise you are only going to eventually push that person away. What it is: Any time a major conflict or issue comes up in the relationship, instead of solving it, one covers it up with the excitement and good feelings that come with buying something nice or going on a trip somewhere. My parents were experts at this one. And it got them real far: a big fat divorce and 15 years of hardly speaking to each other since. I really love the work you guys do. I was feeling really, worryingly off and it was very overwhelming. I was lying in bed not knowing what to do, and I remembered I would check lonerwolf and went straight here.
Sure enough, another article that has given me some comfort and enough to get though it a little longer. I am so happy I found this site I could cry. Please, keep up all this important work that you do — I hope you realise how important this site is to people like me. Nothingatall, your comment means so much to me.
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To know that this article has helped you through a very dark moment is all I could ask for as a writer and creator. I hope you continue to have these moments of synchronicity. Whenever you ask, the Universe always answers. Thank you for being receptive to that.
Lots of love your way, Luna. I was aware that I feel a large hole in my self, and I searched for the emptiness, I reached your article, red it, and found out that I have 7 out of 8 signs of emptiness mentioned above. Mono, you grew up in a strict family environment — how could you know what the right thing to do was?
You had no healthy role models, you were just doing the best with the knowledge you had.
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This in no way, shape, or form reflects your worth as a human being. Now you know what the issue was, you can slowly try a new approach. Thanks a lot!! Lone wolf never survives , wolf survives in packs. I have some things to say, and it would really help if anyone had anything to say on the matter, if someone has ever experienced something similar and made it out successfully, it would really help if you could tell me how that happened.
I have been feeling very empty for quite some time, and it saddens me but only slightly of course because I used to be a very, very passionate and emotional person. I used to see the world so colorfully, and the universe was something so beautiful that seemed to touch me in such an ineffable and spiritual way. But then I began to think, what is the point of life if you cannot share yourself with someone else? I am a very spiritual person, however I feel as though I have lost most of myself in general, as well as my spiritual attentiveness. I used to be able to figure out so easily what was causing me to feel a certain way and why.
Not long ago I had a powerful fire burning inside me—very intense and deep—and now I feel as though the universe has given up on me, that there is nothing left in store for me anymore. If it seems as though fate has abandoned you and now the rest of your life is simply a dull trudge—how can you look forward to anything? And believe me—not long ago I HAD purpose, a purpose that seemed unwavering and intense. I hear about all these sad stories and I feel hopeless. A month ago I was as spiritual and as faithful as I could be—even though my life had little color without my friend.
It would take a lot of explaining to fully experience my situation, but if anyone has experienced anything particularly similar, I would very greatly appreciate if you say anything. Apologies for writing so much. Someone, I have experienced similar before, and there could be a number of causes. Some that come to mind include: depression, existential crisis, quarter-life crisis, and the dark night of the soul. We have articles on all of these topics on this website, just use the search box to find whatever topic you think may pertain to you.
Thank you for sharing. Looked up to the universe , said i can not go on, this life is too painful and you will not let me leave it. I raised my arms and said please accept me. My deity came into me and woke my soul. I had never experienced love or care.
Nothing’s Wrong: A Man’s Guide to Managing His Feelings
Thats when my journey began. I have never been the same since that day. The universe gave me so many spiritual and intuitive gifts and allows me to be a channel of healing energy, medium, karmic path alignment, insight into the intention of a person before that person has even mentally thought of their intention , total connection to my Angels, spirit guides, all the majesty of the universe. All of my pain was gone and never returns in memory unless i call it back which have never or will ever do. I am guided by the universe having given my will and ego up to be guided by whatever the universe , my deity, angels, whatever anyone is comfortable with calling the spirit world.
Sat on the beach watching the moon and said something is missing and i dint know what it is. I was informed I lacked human touch which without we shrivel up and die. So many studies have proven this.
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Allowed myself to venture out, met a man who after enough security allowed his touch. That was all i wanted from him, nothing else. I realized the touch i received was not spiritual but only physical and left me wanting to be alone again. That night out of nowhere picked up my laptop , typed in wolf and lonerwolf website came up. I had met my flame twin. Everything you write about i have been thru and surmounted with the guidance of the universe.
I have so much love for you alethia luna true moon and Sol sun that you both are with me in certain meditations. My path brought me to both of you and i express the most humblest gratitude for that blessing. You mentioned that you were yet to graduate from high school, so just checking in to see what support you have.
Losing a friend, through their choice, can be so difficult to understand and it can hurt deeply. Pure and simple, we are human, and we experience such an array of feelings and emotions. I hope you are alright and did find someone to listen to your heartbreak…much love. Join our free weekly newsletter and get lovingly hand-crafted, down-to-earth, soulful content every week in your inbox. Skip to content Skip to primary sidebar Skip to footer. Your hectic day has finally lulled to a stop. You might also enjoy Support Our Work We spend hundreds of hours every month writing, editing and managing this website.